Floating Between Two Worlds

 I only know it’s morning and not evening because my apple watch says it is. Outside the sky remains as dark and impenetrable as India ink splattered on bright white handmade paper. I gather my things and proceed outside, walking quietly along a familiar darkened path past the houses of still sleeping neighbors. Occasionally there is a lighted window. Insomniac or someone getting ready for work? The ground is wet, proof of an unexpected storm having passed stealthily over our little piece of paradise during the night. Anyone peeking at me through their shades must be wondering “What the hell is that guy doing walking around in the dark wearing a bathrobe?” and they would be right to wonder, but nothing nefarious is afoot. As I have each day since my retirement two days ago, I’m heading to our community pool/spa area. As I turn a corner in the path, beckoning me forward is the illuminated superheated column of steam rising from the Jacuzzi into the cold morning air.

Arriving at the gated and fenced in pool/spa area, I use the little FOB on my keyring to open the locked gate and enter, closing it softly behind me. Only the quiet metallic click of the lock reengaging announces my arrival. As I set my things down on a handy poolside chair and remove the bathrobe, I’m quickly reminded that it’s in the mid 40’s this early California morning and hurriedly walk over to the water jet timer, rotating it to the maximum duration and then walk down the steps of the Jacuzzi, submerging myself neck deep into the very hot water. The water jets roar to life and I float around on my back, letting my eyes adjust to the light. Stars begin to imprint themselves on my retinas and I notice the occasional solitary jet aircraft bisecting the sky far above. 

My mind begins to wander back across the 45 year span of my working life, now all behind me. I feel a little like an Apollo astronaut heading for the moon and looking out the window at the earth getting smaller every minute. Watching much of what I have known, much of what is familiar recede and move away from me while at the same time my destination, the unknown future, looms ahead growing ever larger. I have prepared well for this journey but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t the least bit unsettled. 

The steam from the heated water threatens to obscure my vision and the stars vanish for a minute, but I carry on floating between two worlds, one familiar and one largely unknown. 

The mercury sodium lights that surround the nearby cold water pool now appear to have luminescent halos around them which are momentarily backlit by the headlights of a passing car that suddenly sweeps across the pool area and fades from view. Someone returning home after an all-nighter or a worker coming home having completed a graveyard shift, ready to draw the blackout shades and sleep all day? Unknown. A few more window lights in the neighboring houses begin to flare to life. The early risers are up and moving now. Probably getting ready for work. I silently wish them all a good day and think “I’ll guard the Jacuzzi while you’re gone.”

An inappropriate smile appears unbidden on my face. The timer ends and the water jets stop, all is silent again except for the sudden glug, glug, glug of the final water bubbles breaching the surface like those exhaled from the tortured lungs of a drowning person having giving up the fight and sinking into the murky depths.

Instead of sinking, I emerge from the water and dry off, pulling the bathrobe back on and walk along that familiar path home under that cold obsidian star filled sky, a new day is starting and I have an extensive list of things accomplish. Retirement? I recommend it.

My name is Greg Jones and I approve this message.

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